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What are your self-worth anchors?

Posted by Annmarie Murray on
What are your self-worth anchors?

Self-worth Anchors

I was with a client recently and one of the things that came up in conversation was self-worth anchors.

She is someone who has an open heart centre in her Human Design chart so often feelings of self-worth can be a problem for her.

So an exercise I gave her which may be of interest to you is if you look at all the things that you currently place your self-worth in, so examples can include being the hardest working person in your workplace, the person who is willing to stay late.

What Are You Basing Your Self-Worth on?

Are you basing your self worth based on how much productivity you can get done?

Are you the person who always invites everyone for dinner?

Can you always be relied upon to be there for your friends?

Whatever it is you are currently placing your self-worth in....STOP doing those things for a week!

See how it feels.

You are then removing the anchors of the old things that you were attaching your self-worth to. You are ripping them up.

They are not how we are supposed to work on our self-worth.

Maybe She's Born With It

Our self-worth is not something we are supposed to increase on. It's something we are inherently born with.

We have the right to love, money, influence etc.

But we can think we need to get something or give something in order to attain these for ourselves.

That was incorrect training from our educators. 

Natural Motivations

This exercise a way to help us remove these feelings so we are feeling worthy without attaching it to an outcome or situation.

The reason I suggest this is a huge amount of us base our motivations on how we want to be seen, for example as successful or generous, and this takes us completely out of our own natural motivations.

We are often then focused on achievement motivation. We are often very attached to the outcome versus us being very genuine. 

The problem then is we often feel very uncomfortable when people don't like us or agree with us. We can often then change things about ourselves based on what others suggest. 

If someone says to me, 'Annmarie the content you write or talk about is nonsense', I NOW have enough of my own self-worth to recognise that it's just their opinion and not a true reflection.

But because we are so often based in our own unhealthy self-worth anchors, we don't often catch this for ourselves.

Gaining Clarity

So, for a certain period stop doing these things that you thought were getting you recognised and instead, just do things because they feel good. Not because you are getting a particular reaction or response based on it. 

Because sometimes we are doing things in an autopilot state that we think we feel good about but when we stop doing them, we realise well I actually didn't like it, I was just doing it because I thought it made me feel like a generous, likeable or successful person.

But it's very hard to get clarity on that when we are doing them all the time. So if you stop doing them and focus on just feeling really good in yourself, that's what will naturally inspire this feeling of self-worth within you. Rather than looking for evidence of it which doesn't work.

Because we are born worthy. It's not something we can increase on. 

You were born worthy.

Boundaries Series

Want to explore more with me on the above in relation to creating healthier boundaries? Join me in my upcoming online series which starts from Wednesday, 22nd June. Click here for more details

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